


Side Effects May Vary

by Asellas



Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: F/M, Humor, M/M, Mistral makes pancakes, Professor Snape would be so disappointed in you Earth, Vaginal Sex, allergies suck, gender bending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-24 02:23:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15620421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asellas/pseuds/Asellas
Summary: “Where the fuck,” the fire ghoul screeches, eyes wide in panic, “Is my goddamn cock?”(In which Ember has seasonal allergies and has Earth make him a potion to get rid of them. It does not go well.)





	1. Chapter 1

“I fucking hate allergies,” Ember snarls once he's stopped sneezing. “I fucking hate summer, and all these fucking plants.”

Aether pats him on the back sympathetically. So far the human medicines Ember has tried haven't done a thing beyond making him drowsy, leaving him prone to fall asleep during mass and be shaken awake to the reproachful gaze of whichever Papa was at the pulpit. He didn't know of any other ghouls so afflicted by the pollen, and as such he'd turned to Earth, asking the drummer if he could concoct something that would make all the sniffling and sneezing go away. His band mate had taken pity upon his brother and has spent the better half of the week in the alchemy lab, researching and brewing potions.

Another fit of sneezes descends upon him, leaving him with a head full of wool and the beginnings of a migraine thudding behind his eyes.

“Fuck,” he moans, letting his head fall to the table, hitting his forehead to the surface with a dull thud.

“Hey, look, Earth's back,” Aether tells him an indeterminate time later, running his fingers through Ember's hair to help soothe his lover. Ember makes a sound low in his throat, shuddering in pleasure as Aether scratches blunt nails along his scalp. He raises his head as Earth joins them at the common room table.

“Alright, this should work. Some of the translations were tricky, but I'm fairly confident I worked them out properly.” The drummer holds out a vial of liquid which Ember takes. It's a dark reddish-brown color and effervesces slightly. Popping the cork he sniffs at it, the scent sour and acrid, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

“All of it,” Ember asks, and Earth nods. He takes a breath to steal himself, hoping that maybe it doesn't taste as bad as it smells, and pours the vial down his throat.

“Ugh,” he gags, face twisting at the bitter potion. “Next time could you not make it taste like ass?”

“Potions aren't meant to taste good,” Earth huffs, offended. Ember rolls his eyes and stands, swaying a little.

“M’gonna go lie down,” he mumbles, speech starting to slur a bit as the brew works through his system. Aether moves to help but Ember waves him off, walking drunkenly back to his room.

“He doesn't mean to be a jerk,” Aether apologizes for the fire ghoul. “He just gets a bit… Testy, when he doesn't feel well.”

“Fucking fire ghouls. Bunch of babies,” Earth sighs, shrugging it off. Aether snorts a laugh before going to make sure Ember made it to his bed. Poking his head into the room he finds Ember had indeed gotten to the bed, though he was only sprawled out, limbs askew, on top of the rumpled sheets, snoring faintly. Aether smiles faintly, shutting the door quietly and leaving the poor fire ghoul to get some rest.

\--

It wasn’t a good night’s sleep.

Ember remembers waking multiple times, cold one moment and needing a blanket, too hot the next. At some point Aether had joined him in bed, spooning up behind the smaller ghoul. After that his temperature seemed to finally figure itself out, leaving him shivering till he wraps himself up in a blanket.

Then the aches start. First his arms throb from fingers to shoulders, then his legs, then his gut. He feels nauseous and almost decides to camp out by the toilet in case he can’t keep his meager dinner down, the only thing stopping him is the bone-deep lethargy that weighs heavily over him. He eventually goes back to sleep, dreams odd and distorted, though he can’t seem to remember them.

He wakes to the insistent call of his full bladder, struggling with the cocoon of blankets he’d burrowed into during the night, padding to the toilet once he’s extracted himself his temporary cloth prison. He doesn’t bother with the light, eyes still mostly closed and finding his way around by instinct. When his shins hit the porcelain his gropes for the slit in the front of his boxer to pull out his dick. His brain is still overly fuzzy, having a hard time trying to understand why he can’t seem to find his member, and he thrusts his hand into his underwear to search.

Where his cock should be there’s smooth skin, a small slit at the front. His fingers slide between the two folds to find a wet heat, and his brain suddenly jolts as he slaps at the light switch.

“What,” he gasps in horror as he pushes his boxers down and gapes at his groin, voice rising in panic,” the FUCK?!”

“Ember, are you okay,” Aether asks, voice still fuzzy with sleep as he looms in the doorway. Ember makes a strangled noise as he tries to comprehend what is happening.

“Where the fuck,” the fire ghoul screeches, eyes wide in panic, “Is my goddamn cock?”

Aether stills, dragging his eyes down Ember’s body. Somehow overnight the fire ghoul had been turned into a ghoulette.

“Uh, fuck,” Aether deadpans, at a complete loss with the situation.

“Why are you yelling, it’s five fucking thirty in the morning,” Zephyr snarls as she stomps into Ember’s bedroom, shoving Aether aside to glare daggers at the fire ghoul. She opens her mouth to snap at him again but the sound dies in her throat as she takes in the scene.

“What in Lucifer’s name,” she begins and Ember wails in dismay.

“Do I look like I fucking know?” His hands had travelled upwards to his chest, palms cupping the pair of breasts that he now had.

“I’ll, uh,” Aether sighs, rubbing a hand over his face, “I’ll go get Earth.”

\--

The four of them are all sitting around the dining room table, Ember looking more like he’s going to murder the earth ghoul with each passing minute.

“I did everything right,” Earth mumbles, claws tracing over his notes as he looks over the crumbling, old book he’d found the potion recipe in.

“Obviously didn’t,” Ember grits out. Aether tries to pat him soothingly on the shoulder but Ember flinches away, baring fangs at the quintessence ghoul.

“Hm, I don’t see it…” Earth looks perplexed as he glances back to Ember. “though, are the symptoms gone?”

“What,” Ember snarls.

“Your allergies, are they gone,” Earth clarifies. The anger fades from Ember’s face for a moment as he takes stock. His nose is clear and the pressure on his sinuses has dissipated.

“Yeah,” he admits, grudgingly, then snarls at the drummer, “but so’s my dick!”

“Then it worked!”

“You call this ‘worked’?!” Ember gestures at his body.

“It's just a… a, um, small… complication,” The drummer mumbles nervously

“SMALL?!” Ember shrieks, launching himself at the drummer with claws outstretched. Luckily Aether is able to wrap his arms around Ember's waist and keep him from launching himself across the table and mauling Earth.

“Alright, okay, that's enough now.” Aether has to almost shout to be heard over Ember's snarling. He pulls the fire ghoul into his lap, enfolding him in his arms and resting his chin on Ember’s head.

“What’s going on,” a sleepy voice asks from the hallway, and they all turn to see a half-awake Rain rubbing at his eyes. “Is Mistral making pancakes again?”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If you don’t get in here and put your cock in me,” Ember snarls, panting and writhing against the bedsheets, “I am going to kill you.”
> 
> (Mistral makes pancakes and Ember become acquainted with his new anatomy)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a 3-day weekend off work before school starts next week, and spent half of my first day off writing porn. Please enjoy.

Ember stands in front of his bathroom mirror, running his eyes down his naked figure. His entire physique had altered, from head to toe. His hands and feet were now what could be considered delicate, fingers long and tapered elegantly. His ass was more plush and hips wider, lips full and even the bones of his face seemed to have shifted just enough to make him feminine.

Ember brings his hands up to cup his breasts, bouncing them gently in his palms. They’re nowhere near the size of Zephyr’s or Mistral’s, instead they’re small with perky nipples, barely filling his cupped hands. He has absolutely no notion of how women size them, just slots them into ‘mildly disappointing’ and leaves it at that. He drops his hands and sighs. His scars were all still there, little white shiny lines scribed across pale skin, though for once they seemed to detract from his looks instead of adding to them.

“Couldn’t even get a decent set of boobs,” he mutters dejectedly, tugging on his boxers and shirt. He debates going back to bed, curling himself into his blanket and ignoring the rest of the shit fest this day has started out as.

“Ember,” Aether calls following a knock on his door. “Breakfast is ready.”

“Don’t wanna,” he mumbles, flinging himself onto the bed covers. Aether lets himself into the room, closing the door behind him quietly.

“Mistral’s making pancakes,” the quintessence ghoul informs him, running a hand gently through Ember’s hair.

“Mmph,” Ember says into the blanket.

“I know you’re… upset,” Aether sighs, rubbing gentle circles on the fire ghoul’s back. “Earth is working hard to fix this, but you can’t hide away the entire time.”

“Yes, I can,” Ember replies petulantly, pulling a pillow over his head.

“We have mass soon.”

“Not going.” Ember tries to burrow further into the bed; go out among the other ghouls and clergy, like this? Hell no.

“Ember, you can’t miss mass,” Aether admonishes.

“Cam anph ill,” he grumbles into the covers, but he knows Aether is right. Being a band ghoul also had its downsides, one being their visibility. His absence would be quickly noticed and before he’d know it Sister Imperator would be breathing down his neck. He allows Aether to pull him into his lap and press a gentle kiss to his forehead, fight draining away with a sigh.

“Pancakes, you said,” Ember asked, leaning back to raise an inquisitive eyebrow at Aether.

(There was a plate waiting for him at the table, the top pancake a fanged and horned smiley face.)

\--

_I didn’t get the memo that this was ‘Punish Ember’ day,_ he thinks to himself as the congregation is seated in the pews of the chapel. Papa Emeritus I stands at the pulpit, his endless droning attempting to lull Ember to sleep. He allows his mind to wander, latching onto the first mental distraction he comes up with to stay awake.

_Aether in the shower, muscles gleaming wetly under the stream of water. Pupils blown wide in want as thick fingers stretch him open, thumb rubbing teasingly across his perineum. Their cocks rub together in a slow, wet slide as Ember rocks back and forth, fucking himself on Aether’s fingers._

Ember’s pulse picks up and he has to take a deep breath and swallow thickly; there’s an odd sensation between his legs when he shifts in his seat. He surreptitiously sneaks a look around, glad that it doesn’t seem like anyone has noticed him.

_The burn and stretch as Aether sheaths his cock inside him, drawing a low moan from his throat. Fingers tease his pierced nipples, hot mouth on his neck rumbling pleasure at Ember bucks back, impaling himself on Aether’s thick cock._

He can feel his heartbeat thudding in his groin, vision swimming with the rising tide of arousal. Ember starts when Aether knocks their knees together gently, giving him an inquisitive side-long glace. He shakes his head, sitting up straight and clutching at the fabric of his pants, doing his best to pay attention to the sermon and not about jumping the quintessence ghoul right then and there and beg to be fucked in front of the entire congregation.

\--

The door to his bedroom has no sooner clicked shut and he’s tearing at his clothes, shedding them in a pile before falling to the bed. He had thought of waiting for Aether, but he had been pulled aside by some other ghouls to talk and Ember had fled back to their rooms with all haste. The throbbing slickness that had developed between his legs begged for attention and he obliges, running a hand over the hair-covered front mound to slip fingers in between the folds. He’s sopping wet, slickness coating his fingers as he strokes and explores himself. He rubs against a small nub at the top, sending sparks of pleasure jolting down his veins.

He should have paid attention to the anatomy class the sisters put all the ghouls through, detailing all the parts and functions of both male and female genitals. He’d blithely ignored it, himself having no interest in ghoulettes. He regrets it now, as he fumbles around blindly, wishing this were as easy as just stroking his cock till he came. This, though, was like some kind of weird jigsaw puzzle; everything he tried felt good but wasn’t nearly enough, making him moan in frustration.

“Ember?” There’s a knocking at his door and Aether pokes his head inside. “Are you alrig- oh.”

“If you don’t get in here and put your cock in me,” Ember snarls, panting and writhing against the bedsheets, “I am going to kill you.”

Aether wastes no time kicking the door shut behind him as he shucks his clothes, taking more care of them than Ember was with his and draping them over the back of the chair. He approaches the bed, palming his already half-hard dick as he gazes down at the little fire ghoul, spread out and panting as he fingers himself. Aether climbs onto the bed, kneeling in the space between Ember’s spread legs, leaning forward to run hands down his breasts. Ember shudders as calloused fingers drag over his nipples, which were so much more sensitive than they previously were, mewling quietly as the perky nubs are toyed with.

“Aether,” Ember hisses in warning, wanting the quintessence ghoul to stop teasing and fuck him already. Aether huffs something that sounds suspiciously like ‘needy fire ghouls’, though he hesitates as he gently grips Ember’s hips.

“I, uh, I don’t have a condom,” he mumbles sheepishly, cheeks blushing scarlet.

“So,” Ember groans, wriggling to try and inch himself forward towards Aether’s cock.

“I don’t, um, I don’t know if you actually could, but… but I don’t want to risk it…”

“What,” Ember asks, confounded and increasingly tired of waiting.

“Get you, ah, pregnant,” Aether mumbles. Ember just stares at him for a moment as the words sink in, then he disregards them entirely as he scrambles up and tackles Aether, pulling him to the bed. He hits the covers with a quiet ‘oof!’ and Ember climbs atop, straddling his hips. He scoots forward, grasping Aether’s stiff cock and rubbing it along the silky folds of his vulva, covering the head in wetness. He then rises up on his knees and positions himself, holding Aether’s cock to keep it in place as he drops himself down onto it.

“Wait,” Aether gasps, reaching out to try and stop the fire ghoul but isn’t successful.

“Fuck,” Ember yelps, grunting in discomfort as he spears himself onto the thick, rigid cock, the head slamming against his insides to send a stabbing pain radiating up his spine. He pants, blinking away wetness from his eyes as he adjusts to the ache.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Aether groans, shuddering at the tight, wet heat of Ember’s pussy. It takes a large amount of self-control to keep from rolling his hips and fucking into Ember, instead gripping the swell of his hips as he waits for the fire ghoul to accustom himself to the pain of ramming Aether’s cock into his cervix.

The pain eventually lessens enough for Ember to lean forward and brace his arms on Aether’s shoulders, giving him an angle at which he can roll and bounce his hips, fucking his dripping cunt on his lover’s dick. He clenches down and revels in the sensation, similar yet so different from when Aether fucks him in the ass.

“Fuck, you feel amazing,” Aether moans as Ember tightens around him, the fire ghoul giving a quiet huff of laughter as he wriggles his hips playfully. Aether lets one hand lose its grip on Ember’s hip, sliding lower into the wet heat and finding his clitoris, beginning to rub at it in tight circles. Ember gasps and arcs his back as pleasure zings through his body, hips stuttering in their rhythm before bucking into the fingers. Ecstasy builds, hot and tight, inside him as the fingers stimulate his clit relentlessly, making him quake and shudder as he moans Aether’s name.

Something seems to snap and the pleasure crests, cascading over him in pulsating waves. Aether groans and pistons into Ember as he clenches around his cock, drawing out the fire ghoul’s orgasm till he’s moaning brokenly from overstimulation. Just as Ember opens his mouth to tell him to stop strong hands grip hard at his hips, lifting him off of Aether’s cock and flinging him to the side with an indignant squawk. He scrambles to sit up, ready to hiss at his lover but the words die in his throat as he watches Aether shudder and buck into his fist, making a strangled noise as he cums in streaks on his stomach.

“Better,” Aether asks some time later, once they’ve regained control of their breathing. A deep lethargy settled into Ember’s bones and he snuggles in close to Aether’s side.

“Kinda,” he yawns, laying his head on Aether’s chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is https://asalade.tumblr.com/ if you want to come drop by, I'm trying to remember to use it again.

**Author's Note:**

> Porn to follow!  
> Takes place in the same universe as my other Ghost fic (in case anyone was wondering?).


End file.
